We’ve already lost so many in whom the seeds were not planted, replaced instead by the economic and practical efficiencies of a bunch of MIDI bleep-blop bullshit that some dude typed out on his laptop in between karate-kick farts soiling his days-old underwear. Yet I ask you this… Why don’t your children sing?īecause of the vicious and savage gutting of my industry, a decimation hidden from the average American by corporate greed, complacent journalists, and a naïvely assuaged populace! Well, it’s time to stand up and demand that your right to a collective innocence be respected, protected, and fostered for all future generations. My brethren in the TV Theme Song Writing industry have created a veritable time machine out of pure aesthetics, transporting us all instantaneously and effortlessly back to the simple joys of childhood and the fictional characters who served as surrogate friends and avatars for vicariously exploring life’s thornier themes. These unbreakable threads connecting millions from each and every community across our great and diverse land is the legacy of decades of craftspeople performing at their peak. March right into a Whole Foods and declare, “What would we do baby…?” and listen as half the room replies, “… without us” while the other half says, “… without love.” (Before the internet we had to make our own decisions about such things, so don’t judge!) ![]() ![]() Go to one of the three remaining Barnes & Nobles in the world and sing out, “You take the good, you take the bad…” and you will hear the joyful reply, “… you take them both and there you have the facts of life!” Walk into any Farmer’s Market and call out, “Now the world don’t move…” and tell me that everyone over thirty-five doesn’t fervently respond, “… to the beat of just one drum!”
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